The influence of others can make you or break you

It’s truly amazing how others can influence your feelings.You can start out enjoying something and then land up hating it because, as most humans do, you let someone else (or a few others) get into your head.

Studies/academics are no exception. All it takes are a few snipe comments or bad/ill treatment from others to make you cringe at the mere thought of your studies, field of study or even your career.

For example, say you loved playing nurse or doctor as a child and you grew up reading medical magazines and journals, always knowing you had a passion for medicine. As a result, you worked really hard at school to get good grades and therefore achieved your goal of admission to medical studies. Not only that, you managed to get into your dream university of choice. You are elated and feel like you can conquer anything.

Then as time passes, others keep telling you how you won’t really make a good doctor or nurse, and/or have other jealous actions or remarks towards you. You shrug this off at first but eventually you start believing them and doubting yourself. Some might quit their studies at this point but not you, you decide to go on and finish. You manage this and your graduation is a very proud moment for you and your family, so you start forgetting all the ill remarks and actions of others during your studies.

Then time comes for your internship. You are very excited, but from day one you are treated like a dog. You are spoken down to, you are used for all sorts of degrading tasks. Naturally you take this treatment in the beginning because you believe it is all just a part of your orientation period and that in time it will get better. Only it doesn’t and it just worsens. This makes you start to believe that those who tormented you during your studies were maybe right all along. Your self-image and confidence in yourself begins to break down. You start to despise medicine. Eventually you cannot take it any more, and so you convince yourself that medical studies and practising in the medical field are not for you after all. You quit and your future all of a sudden becomes very uncertain and bleak.

Sound far fetched? Well not really. Scenarios like this play out all the time, and I know it is hard but DON’T let others get to you or have an influence on your life and choices. No matter how bad their words or actions are. If you let them into your brain and thoughts they will shatter your soul.

I understand this is easier said than done and trust me, I have made this mistake all too often, but you can prevent/fight this. How?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Practice blocking people out when they have negative things to say towards you. You can do this by following a little trick of mine. When someone starts being negative/nasty, start picturing them as babies or toddlers. Imagine how they looked at this/these stages of their lives, then tell yourself you are listening to the selfish, jealous words of a mere child. Nod, smile and think scr*% you (or something similar in that line).

2. When people treat you badly, and make you do menial or degrading tasks that are beneath you (often whilst taunting you), take it in your stride and do these tasks whilst smiling. All the while KNOWING (and this part is TRUE) that your actions are p-ing them off because their whole jealous aim is to make life hell for you and if it appears that you don’t give a hoot, you are winning and they are losing. With time this should make them leave you alone because abusing/taunting you gets them nowhere and just makes them feel like idiots. However, some individuals (slash idiots) might not do this (leave you alone) and might decide as a result to provoke you in more vicious ways to retaliate. This however grants you the golden opportunity to report them, because you did everything right like a total angel, and they came across as being persistently evil and vindictive.

The above are just two examples of ways to handle certain actions/behaviour of others. If you need any other ideas/suggestions pertaining to your own unique situations, leave a comment here-under and I will try to help you. I am sure some other readers will have some great suggestions for you as well.

Remember, DON’T give others the power over you! It is your life and your choices!


Academics Can Kill Your Sanity 2016


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